Kellyn

I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to a very sweet girl. Kellyn is the new lady in my life and she has just taught me so much over the past month. It is amazing how meeting one person can change your life so much. She is such a great example to me and she helps me to want to be a better person. I am so grateful for how special she makes me feel. I love that I can be myself and she loves every bit of it. There is nothing like it. So this is for you, Kellyn. I am grateful for you. You are most definitely worth it. :)

The Luckiest

I just want you all to know that I am The Luckiest. I am the luckiest guy on the face of this earth. I have the most amazing people who surround me. I want all of you who are reading this to know that I love you dearly. You are the reason why my life is so wonderful. Your support has brought me through some of the toughest times of my life. Thank you. Now the real credit goes to the one who made it all possible. The Savior. Jesus Christ literally saved my life. Were it not for the Atonement of the Son of God I would be nothing. My friends, with Heavenly Father I am everything. I stand firm in what I know today. I know that I am worth it. I know that the Lord has forgiven me and I know that I am clean. I am clean! No one can take that away. Those in my past that have judged me, I thank you. You have helped me to be able to stand on my own two feet. You have helped me to become the man that I am now. I did not work as hard as I have for anyone. I did it for me and I did it with the help of the Savior. If you have a similar story to me I congratulate you. I also remind you as I am constantly reminded.. "unto whom much is given, much is required" (D&C 82:3). We owe it all to the Lord. I am pleased to be a servant of my Savior. Though I will never repay my debt, I am having the time of my life trying to pay as much back as possible. To those of you who stand in need of comfort, I am here. I want you to rejoice with me. Let me help you to stand on higher ground. There are blessings that are yours to claim. I want you to have them. My friends, this is a journey that we are all taking together. There isn't a single one of us that is better than the other. You are never too good to reach down to help one in need. The Savior spent his earthly ministry tending to those who made the poorest of choices. Others had difficult situations thrust upon them. Nothing was beyond his reach and that is still the case today. Those who had faith in Christ were healed. Bring your infirmity to the Lord. Whether you chose it or not, He will heal you. You NEED to be healed. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. He never has and never will lead you astray. Please be a friend and if you need a friend, allow someone to be your friend. I am your friend. All glory be to the one who made it all possible. I am The Luckiest.

Sisters

I feel so much love in my heart. I love the times when I am able to just sit and think about all the awesome things in my life. The Lord has given me so much. I have the most amazing family. I miss them a ton. I especially miss my sisters. Seriously, they are my light. I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life than the beauty that lies in them. Without my sisters I would not be me. I have grown to appreciate their examples in my life. They all have been an example to me in different ways. They have overcome adversity, they have taught me how to laugh, they have shown me what it means to have unconditional love, and best of all they have shown me the divine nature of womanhood. I cannot thank them enough for their love and support. I bear my testimony to the world of "Jaren's Thoughts" fans... It does not matter how old you are. It does not matter how insignificant you think you may be. I testify that you do make a difference. You make a difference in the lives of ALL those around you. I learned this lesson from my sisters. They are true disciples of Jesus Christ... and I want to be just like them.

Living for RIGHT NOW

So I was going to title this "...just for the sake of writing..." but I decided that is not appropriate for what I want to write about. I feel impressed to write about how important it is to be happy with where you are. Life is a journey; a really fun journey. I am really bad at this actually so don't feel bad if you are not terribly good at being happy with where you are. That being said, I realize how important it is and I see the need for it in my life. I love my friends. I have met some of the most amazing people over the past few months that have really changed my life. They are awesome people that truly love me for me. They don't judge and they are able to put up with all the stupid things I do and say. That is true love. My family is fantastic. I was thinking about my sister Kaylese tonight and I felt a huge smile come across my face followed by tears welling up in my eyes. The thing that shocked me was how familiar that feeling was. I love my family so much. When I think about them I feel so much love. I felt the need to express these things because I am happy to be with my friends in Utah, but I struggle being away from my family and friends in Arizona. Truth be told though... I am happy. I am happy where I am. I have all that I need. What more could a guy ask for? A wife? maybe.... Smile my friends because it's contagious and certainly worth catching.

Follow your heart

I am amazed again at how well the Lord knows me. He knows what I need and when I need it. I could feel myself starting to slow down in my progression toward eternal happiness and the Lord brought me back. I have realized that it is better to be honest with someone about how you truly feel about them instead of trying to protect them. We as human beings are strong and able to withstand adversity. To try to protect someone from hearing what you truly feel is quite the disservice. I have realized that I do not have to apologize for my true feelings. Proverbs 3:5-6 says this:
5 ¶ ^aTrust in the Lord with all thine ^bheart; and lean not unto thine ^cown ^dunderstanding.

6 In all thy ways ^aacknowledge him, and he shall ^bdirect thy ^cpaths.
I believe that the pursuit of marriage is a divine one and should be guided and sanctioned by the Lord himself. The Lord needs to be your confidant and the guide to who you choose. The Lord has given me impressions as I have met certain people. I can tell that some of them will be life long friends. I had a conversation with a great friend of mine and I was scared to tell her that I was not interested in dating, but I wanted to be friends. I was surprised to hear that she felt the same as me. She said that she realized that our relationship was not supposed to be a romantic one. We have such a strong friend connection that I know we will be friends for life. I now have a renewed sense of my friendships and I am eternally grateful for them. Again I turn to the Lord and place my trust in him.

The past...

I have been thinking a lot lately about how things have been going so well in my life. I feel like I have been reborn. I have a new desire to help others and I have seen some great opportunities for such. I am concerned, however, that in an effort to help I have actually damaged a friendship that I worked hard to build. I had no intention of damaging the relationship, but I feel that sometimes we cannot control how someone will react to things we say. I feel strange because I feel that maybe I should not have shared so much. At the same time I feel like maybe I shared exactly what needed to be shared. I am very confused. Whatever the case may be, I know that God is in command. The reason I have titled this entry "The past..." is because I want to leave the past the past. I am tired of having my past follow me. It is time to look to my future. That is where the true beauty lies. I see that my future is full of wonderful bumps and obstacles to be overcome. I am excited to meet those obstacles faithfully with my family and friends by my side. I love the Lord. I love his teachings. No matter what anyone says about me, I know that I am clean. CLEAN. N0body can take that from me. So to my past I say, "Good riddance!" and a faithful "Hello" I express to my future.

I LOVE YOU

Have I told you lately that I love you? I am sorry if I haven't. I may know you very well or maybe we have never met.. but I want you to know, right now, today, that I love you. I LOVE YOU! Have a good day.

D&C 1:27-28

D&C 1:27-28:

27 "And inasmuch as they sinned they might be ^achastened, that they might ^brepent;

28 And inasmuch as they were ^ahumble they might be made strong, and blessed from on high, and receive ^bknowledge from time to time."

I was reading this passage of scripture tonight and I did what I was instructed to do, and I applied it to my life. My thoughts were that the Lord wants to chasten us only to the point of repentance. Nothing further. The Lord's only goal in chastening us is to get us to the point where we begin the repentance process. The Lord will bring that chastisement in different ways depending on circumstance. It may be as simple as a tiny whisper/thought that we shouldn't stay up so late. Or it may be as outwardly public as an intervention put on by those that love us. Or it may even be as serious as a near death experience. However the Lord needs to get our attention, He will. When we begin to sorrow in our hearts for our sins, the Lord ceases to chastise us. Then as we repent the Lord will ensure that we will be "made strong, (be) blessed from on high, and receive knowledge from time to time" (italics added). The Lord does not promise that we will receive his knowledge every minute of every day after that. We receive knowledge from TIME to TIME. The Lord knows what we need and when we need it. That is why He is Lord and we serve Him. Let us be mindful of who is in charge. He has not and will not ever lead us astray.

Service

Friends! It has been so long. I am truly sorry that I have not posted in such a long time. That being said, some old ideas and thoughts have been brought to my mind and I thought I would share a little message about it. I have had the opportunity of helping out a girl lately who has a brother who has been struggling. It was a chance meeting with this girl and ever since I met her things have changed for me. I have found myself wrapped up in the service of her and her family. I am beginning to feel a bit selfish actually because my life has been so fantastic. What a blessing it is to serve others. I feel immensely blessed. So for all of those who read this, please don't hesitate to ask for help from others. It brings eternal happiness to those who are able to help. Along with that, if you are normally the one serving others, let someone serve you for a change. They need the blessings too. May the Lord bless your life with the gift of service.

Loneliness

Have you ever felt lonely? Have you felt like you just aren't meeting people that you can connect with? This has been my life for the last while. I have felt like I am all alone and being the social person I am that has not been easy for me. Last night I was up way too late and I talked to a friend of mine who had just returned from the ER. She helped me a lot with some encouraging words. She reminded me that the Lord has a plan. She reminded me that the Lord has made promises to me and he has not left me without guidance. I immediately thought of my patriarchal blessing. I had not read it in so long. As I woke up today I decided that I needed to read it. It took me a while to find it because I just moved and it was buried in the bottom of a box, but I found it. When I read it I felt an immediate peace. My thoughts turned to the Lord. I thought about all the tools that I have to make sure that I am on the right path. I thought about all the ways the Lord lets me know that he is near. Prayer, scriptures, patriarchal blessings, Ensign, Jaren's blog, etc. Ok maybe Jaren's blog was a bit of a stretch, but it was worth a shot. The Lord sent us to this earth to be tested, but he did not send us alone. He gave us one another, but more importantly he gave us the Holy Ghost. It is imperative that we live worthy of His companionship. May the Lord bless us all. Use the tools given you and please help me to do the same. Thanks for all your encouragement and kind loving words.

Another point for the winning team

So it has been a while since I have written. To all of my followers... all 3 of you.. I am truly sorry. But tonight inspiration has once again filled my heart and mind and I knew it was time to write. So let's start from the beginning... Last night I was laying in bed feeling the temptations of the adversary. I was feeling like there was no hope from escaping the temptations and I would always eventually give in. As I laid in my bed helplessly I prayed to Heavenly Father practically complaining that I am never going to overcome this awful addiction that has beset me for so many years. I told the Lord that I again needed something that was going to help me keep moving on. Something that was going to help me have my heart changed and my desire to do good restored. The answer to my prayer came. The answer to my prayer was in an odd way. But I suppose answers to prayers are not usually all that conventional. On Monday night I was talking with a friend of mine about love and how it has affected my life positively and negatively. She also expressed some of her recent feelings about love and the heartbreak that comes with it. As I listened to my friend talk I decided that something needed to be done. We needed to surround ourselves with good friends. I told her that she and I were going to go on a "super date". We were going to spend the whole day doing things that we wanted to do and not thinking about things we had to do. So we were wanting to plan something for this week, but with schedule conflicts it ended up that we were only able to catch a movie. It was a start. On the way to the movie and as the movie was starting we were caught up in the same conversation that we were in on Tuesday. Just as the movie was about to begin I told my friend that I would rather be where she is feeling pain then to be where I am and feel nothing. Then the movie began. Mind you this movie started at 12:00 am. It was the first showing in this theater and pretty much anywhere in town. My friend was anxious to see this movie. It is called "The proposal". I had no idea that a romantic comedy would be the answer to my prayer. I was riveted. The movie was exactly what I needed. I needed to feel again. This movie provided that for me. I know this sounds crazy, but I was replenished by love. Love is real. It is an intricate part of the Lord's gospel. We are commanded to love one another. I realize that this is quite cheesy... but as far as I am concerned cheesy is good. Again the Lord shows his love in a way that I never expected. Amazing that the Lord knows what we need, when we need it, and how we need it to be delivered. I guess that is another point for the winning team.

Constant reminders

I was thinking today about why it is that we go to church. Why do I even bother? What do I even get out of it? A good friend of mine back a few years ago said that he has a hard time attending church because there just isn't anything new taught. I got to thinking about that today. I had a really great time in church today.. but I didn't learn anything new. In fact is was a pretty basic set of meetings. Bishop talked about the law of chastity and how we need to be better. Sunday school was about temples. Sacrament had a theme related to gratitude and the savior. So why was I so touched and moved? Why did today make a difference in my life? I came to the conclusion that today was great because I was reminded of the goodness of the Lord. I was reminded that the savior died for me. I think the key to leading a successful life is constant reminders that the Lord is there and Christ's atonement is real. I took a walk tonight after my roommate went to bed. I needed to clear my head a bit. As I soaked in the fresh Utah air and listened to some inspiring music the moon caught my eye. I just stared at the moon in awe at what an amazing creation it is. I never cease to be amazed at what the Lord's hand has created. I feel so loved.

Blessing in disguise

So the other day I was thinking that I needed to get my life back on track. I was starting to slack on prayer and scripture study. The problem was, I had no motivation to do it. I was caught in the snare of laziness. Well, I decided to try to pray and tell the Lord how I was feeling. I was not expecting anything to really happen because I was basically telling the Lord that I was not committed to keeping his commandments. A couple of days went by. On Saturday night I received a phone call from a girl in my past. I was excited to hear her voice because there were some great memories and she is a really cool girl. On the other hand I was nervous because I had done some things with this girl that I was not proud of. I felt some of those old feelings coming back during the conversation. She asked me several times if we can hang out. I told her I did not think it was a good idea. I told her that I don't think that I would have the strength to not go back to those things if we were to get together. She had a hard time with that, but ultimately she was supportive. The conversation ended really well and I was happy that I made the decision not to see her. The next morning I had to work. While I was handing out medication to the boys that I work with I received a phone call. It was this girl's mother. She introduced herself and right then my heart sank. I tried not to show any emotion because I was at work. She basically told me to stay away from her daughter and that she knew all the things that are going on. I told her that I can do that. Now, this incident through off my whole day. I was feeling depressed, lonely, hurt, sad, etc. I had a really hard time with it. Toward the end of the day I started to gain some perspective. I started to think about how it felt. As I was thinking about how I was feeling I realized that the Lord had used this experience to wake me up. To bring back the motivation for change. I realized that this is not the way that I want to live my life. I don't want to feel like this all the time. What a blessing. I talked with my mother later that night and I felt her love and she was very supportive of me. It was amazing that such a trial and a challenge turned out to be such a blessing. A blessing in disguise.

Random thought

Since I have this blog now I feel required to write things on it. Sometimes I just struggle with what I should talk about. I guess free hand is just my style. So the title Jaren's Thoughts is appropriate. Because this is honestly what I think about on a day to day basis. Anyway, I was sitting in church today and I was thinking about what I can be doing to improve the world. I started to think about doing seminars for free.. but who would come? I thought about asking to give a talk.. but that didn't seem right either. Then the thought came to me.. I want to run a fireside. I am not sure if it is even practical for me to do a fireside, but I want to. I guess I just want to be able to share some things that I have experienced in life and be able to discuss it with a group of people. I love to write this blog because it gives me a little sense of that. I get to express my innermost feelings without censorship. I am not sure exactly why I wrote this post.. I was just thinking about it.

Uncle Jare Bear

So I was just talking to my friend Katie. We were talking about family and how our family dynamic works. As I was talking I started to think about my brother and how he is going to have his first baby soon. I couldn't help but be excited. This will be my first biological niece/nephew. As we continued to talk I started to feel kind of worried. I realized that a baby is a big responsibility. I started to wonder if I would be able to take on the responsibility. It will be some time before I have a baby, but I think I have some things I would like to get right before I am a father. Like find a wife for instance. Anyway, I cannot wait to have a little Hamel to receive into my glorious family.

Happy Valley

I just got done watching the movie "Happy Valley". It has left me with a lot of thoughts. I am so grateful for the blessings in my life. I am grateful to learn from the example of others. What a blessing it is to learn from others. I see such a great need for us to bond together as people. We are all brothers and sisters. We need to treat each other as such. We are in this together. No one person is better than another. We are just on different planes. Look for those who need a hand up. Then look upward to the hand that is outstretched to you. Allow others to boost you up and boost those who need it. If you have a grudge against someone, I plead with you to let it go. You are trapped if you have a grudge. My friends.. we are supposed to be happy. If you are not, find the things in your life that are array. Set them straight. If you are looking for someone to talk to.. call me! I am more than willing to help any way I can. May we all resolve to be better. To get a copy of the video "Happy Valley" go to www.ronwilliams.org.

Be the miracle.

Challenges

I got to thinking today about the challenges in life. I was talking with a friend of mine and she made a good point. She said that there is no reason to get upset when temptation comes to us. Because we are all human. Temptation comes to us in all sorts of ways. The temptations that come are all based on natural things that we desire. It is not bad to have those desires. It is all about how we channel those desires. We are not expected to be perfect. If we were the Atonement would not exist. Jesus Christ would have had no purpose. So when challenges come, be ready, and thank the Lord for them. If you have the challenge the Lord is telling you that you can make it. Trust in him.

Oh to be 15

So today is my little sister's birthday. I was thinking about when I was turning 15 and how old I felt. I remember thinking how I was old enough to kiss girls (although not lucky enough), perfectly capable of driving my parents' car (although I was not yet 16), old enough to make most of my own decisions. Now as my little sister has hit 15, I have realized that 15 is certainly not old enough to do any of those things. It is interesting that just a few years can give you such a new perspective. Every year that I get older I look back and see hazards avoided, hazards I could have avoided, and I have a lot of funny stories to tell. The more that I learn in life, the more I realize I know a whole lot of nothing. The moment I start to think I got it all figured out something new falls in my lap and I have no clue how to handle it. I figure that eventually I will have experienced all that I can and I will KNOW that I have it all figured out.. then something else will come I am sure. If you feel like your life is perfect right in this moment, hold on tight because it is about to take another turn. That is the beauty of life. You never know what comes next. My dad always used to tell me, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him what you are going to do tomorrow." This life is about the journey, not the destination. Enjoy it. Can you remember the youthful bliss of 15? Good! It doesn't have to end there. Life is bliss. Challenges and struggles are what make this life worth it all. If you were not a strong person that challenge would not be yours. It would have been given to someone deemed worthy. You are worthy of the challenge. Thank the Lord for those challenges. If you are ever feeling down remember the words of the Savior, "...In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world"(John 16:33). Lean on Him, after all, He wrote the book.

"There is beauty all around..."

Today I decided, once again to take control of my life. I have realized lately that I am too hard on myself. This is not the first time I have realized this. In fact, I realize this just about every day. I thought today a little bit about my journey through this life and what my role is right now. I am 23. I am about to start back at school. I have chosen a career in Behavioral Science. I thought to myself, “Did I consult the Lord about this decision?” I realized that I had yet to consult with the Lord. With this coming to mind I decided it would be a good idea for me to go down to Utah Lake. It was pretty windy and cold down there. It was quite the experience looking over the water and feeling the wind on my face. From where I was sitting I could see the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. As I sat there and listened to some music I had some thoughts. My thoughts led me to want to pray. I turned off my music and I listened to the wind blow past my ears. As I sat and listened to the wind a sense of peace came over me. I thought of the song “Love at Home”. The line that came to me was “there is beauty all around…” As I looked around and soaked in the moment I began to pray. Amidst my praying I felt some things. I felt that the Lord was telling me that all of the turmoil going on inside was all part of the process. It is important for me to have those times where I catch myself and get myself back on track. Instead of beating myself up for being off track in the first place, I need to say, “Good. I am grateful the Lord is mindful of me and wants to make sure I am on the right track.” The Lord looks for those opportunities, when my heart is open, to teach me. I have found that when I am in a state of contemplation the Lord speaks to my heart and fills my mind with words, songs, and other things that bring me back to where I need to be. It was reaffirmed to me again tonight that satan is real. He is really trying to take me down a path that leads to misery. It is ok for me to have times where I realize my faults and refocus my eyes on the Temple. The Lord knows my weaknesses and although he does not condone the things I do wrong, His love is forever with me. What a blessing it is to know that I have a Father in Heaven that loves me. Music is so powerful. On my way back from the lake I listened to a song that talked about all of the names that we give to God. The greatest name of all is still Heavenly Father. The moral of that song is that no matter the issue or challenge, He knows the way through it. What a blessing it is. I am grateful to be refocused on the Temple. I am grateful for my older brother Jesus Christ. He is my savior. How blessed I am.

First things first

First things first, I want to thank you for reading my blog. I am excited to share some of my thoughts. I think they are worthwhile and hopefully so will you. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I am so grateful for it. I love my Savior and I know that he loves me. We have a Heavenly Father that loves us as well. I am hoping that by reading this blog you will be inspired to help others and be better yourself.. no matter your faith. I am grateful for your friendship. God be with you til we meet again.