Monday, May 18, 2009
Blessing in disguise
So the other day I was thinking that I needed to get my life back on track. I was starting to slack on prayer and scripture study. The problem was, I had no motivation to do it. I was caught in the snare of laziness. Well, I decided to try to pray and tell the Lord how I was feeling. I was not expecting anything to really happen because I was basically telling the Lord that I was not committed to keeping his commandments. A couple of days went by. On Saturday night I received a phone call from a girl in my past. I was excited to hear her voice because there were some great memories and she is a really cool girl. On the other hand I was nervous because I had done some things with this girl that I was not proud of. I felt some of those old feelings coming back during the conversation. She asked me several times if we can hang out. I told her I did not think it was a good idea. I told her that I don't think that I would have the strength to not go back to those things if we were to get together. She had a hard time with that, but ultimately she was supportive. The conversation ended really well and I was happy that I made the decision not to see her. The next morning I had to work. While I was handing out medication to the boys that I work with I received a phone call. It was this girl's mother. She introduced herself and right then my heart sank. I tried not to show any emotion because I was at work. She basically told me to stay away from her daughter and that she knew all the things that are going on. I told her that I can do that. Now, this incident through off my whole day. I was feeling depressed, lonely, hurt, sad, etc. I had a really hard time with it. Toward the end of the day I started to gain some perspective. I started to think about how it felt. As I was thinking about how I was feeling I realized that the Lord had used this experience to wake me up. To bring back the motivation for change. I realized that this is not the way that I want to live my life. I don't want to feel like this all the time. What a blessing. I talked with my mother later that night and I felt her love and she was very supportive of me. It was amazing that such a trial and a challenge turned out to be such a blessing. A blessing in disguise.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Random thought
Since I have this blog now I feel required to write things on it. Sometimes I just struggle with what I should talk about. I guess free hand is just my style. So the title Jaren's Thoughts is appropriate. Because this is honestly what I think about on a day to day basis. Anyway, I was sitting in church today and I was thinking about what I can be doing to improve the world. I started to think about doing seminars for free.. but who would come? I thought about asking to give a talk.. but that didn't seem right either. Then the thought came to me.. I want to run a fireside. I am not sure if it is even practical for me to do a fireside, but I want to. I guess I just want to be able to share some things that I have experienced in life and be able to discuss it with a group of people. I love to write this blog because it gives me a little sense of that. I get to express my innermost feelings without censorship. I am not sure exactly why I wrote this post.. I was just thinking about it.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Uncle Jare Bear
So I was just talking to my friend Katie. We were talking about family and how our family dynamic works. As I was talking I started to think about my brother and how he is going to have his first baby soon. I couldn't help but be excited. This will be my first biological niece/nephew. As we continued to talk I started to feel kind of worried. I realized that a baby is a big responsibility. I started to wonder if I would be able to take on the responsibility. It will be some time before I have a baby, but I think I have some things I would like to get right before I am a father. Like find a wife for instance. Anyway, I cannot wait to have a little Hamel to receive into my glorious family.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Happy Valley
I just got done watching the movie "Happy Valley". It has left me with a lot of thoughts. I am so grateful for the blessings in my life. I am grateful to learn from the example of others. What a blessing it is to learn from others. I see such a great need for us to bond together as people. We are all brothers and sisters. We need to treat each other as such. We are in this together. No one person is better than another. We are just on different planes. Look for those who need a hand up. Then look upward to the hand that is outstretched to you. Allow others to boost you up and boost those who need it. If you have a grudge against someone, I plead with you to let it go. You are trapped if you have a grudge. My friends.. we are supposed to be happy. If you are not, find the things in your life that are array. Set them straight. If you are looking for someone to talk to.. call me! I am more than willing to help any way I can. May we all resolve to be better. To get a copy of the video "Happy Valley" go to www.ronwilliams.org.
Be the miracle.
Be the miracle.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Challenges
I got to thinking today about the challenges in life. I was talking with a friend of mine and she made a good point. She said that there is no reason to get upset when temptation comes to us. Because we are all human. Temptation comes to us in all sorts of ways. The temptations that come are all based on natural things that we desire. It is not bad to have those desires. It is all about how we channel those desires. We are not expected to be perfect. If we were the Atonement would not exist. Jesus Christ would have had no purpose. So when challenges come, be ready, and thank the Lord for them. If you have the challenge the Lord is telling you that you can make it. Trust in him.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Oh to be 15
So today is my little sister's birthday. I was thinking about when I was turning 15 and how old I felt. I remember thinking how I was old enough to kiss girls (although not lucky enough), perfectly capable of driving my parents' car (although I was not yet 16), old enough to make most of my own decisions. Now as my little sister has hit 15, I have realized that 15 is certainly not old enough to do any of those things. It is interesting that just a few years can give you such a new perspective. Every year that I get older I look back and see hazards avoided, hazards I could have avoided, and I have a lot of funny stories to tell. The more that I learn in life, the more I realize I know a whole lot of nothing. The moment I start to think I got it all figured out something new falls in my lap and I have no clue how to handle it. I figure that eventually I will have experienced all that I can and I will KNOW that I have it all figured out.. then something else will come I am sure. If you feel like your life is perfect right in this moment, hold on tight because it is about to take another turn. That is the beauty of life. You never know what comes next. My dad always used to tell me, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him what you are going to do tomorrow." This life is about the journey, not the destination. Enjoy it. Can you remember the youthful bliss of 15? Good! It doesn't have to end there. Life is bliss. Challenges and struggles are what make this life worth it all. If you were not a strong person that challenge would not be yours. It would have been given to someone deemed worthy. You are worthy of the challenge. Thank the Lord for those challenges. If you are ever feeling down remember the words of the Savior, "...In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world"(John 16:33). Lean on Him, after all, He wrote the book.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
"There is beauty all around..."
Today I decided, once again to take control of my life. I have realized lately that I am too hard on myself. This is not the first time I have realized this. In fact, I realize this just about every day. I thought today a little bit about my journey through this life and what my role is right now. I am 23. I am about to start back at school. I have chosen a career in Behavioral Science. I thought to myself, “Did I consult the Lord about this decision?” I realized that I had yet to consult with the Lord. With this coming to mind I decided it would be a good idea for me to go down to Utah Lake. It was pretty windy and cold down there. It was quite the experience looking over the water and feeling the wind on my face. From where I was sitting I could see the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. As I sat there and listened to some music I had some thoughts. My thoughts led me to want to pray. I turned off my music and I listened to the wind blow past my ears. As I sat and listened to the wind a sense of peace came over me. I thought of the song “Love at Home”. The line that came to me was “there is beauty all around…” As I looked around and soaked in the moment I began to pray. Amidst my praying I felt some things. I felt that the Lord was telling me that all of the turmoil going on inside was all part of the process. It is important for me to have those times where I catch myself and get myself back on track. Instead of beating myself up for being off track in the first place, I need to say, “Good. I am grateful the Lord is mindful of me and wants to make sure I am on the right track.” The Lord looks for those opportunities, when my heart is open, to teach me. I have found that when I am in a state of contemplation the Lord speaks to my heart and fills my mind with words, songs, and other things that bring me back to where I need to be. It was reaffirmed to me again tonight that satan is real. He is really trying to take me down a path that leads to misery. It is ok for me to have times where I realize my faults and refocus my eyes on the Temple. The Lord knows my weaknesses and although he does not condone the things I do wrong, His love is forever with me. What a blessing it is to know that I have a Father in Heaven that loves me. Music is so powerful. On my way back from the lake I listened to a song that talked about all of the names that we give to God. The greatest name of all is still Heavenly Father. The moral of that song is that no matter the issue or challenge, He knows the way through it. What a blessing it is. I am grateful to be refocused on the Temple. I am grateful for my older brother Jesus Christ. He is my savior. How blessed I am.
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