Thoughts I'm thinkin

It has been some time. I think I am going to start to write here more often again. I really like the way my life goes when I am writing about it. Well, as of late things have been different. Kellyn is finally on her mission, and needless to say, I really miss her. She is the most wonderful woman I have ever known. I really lover her and I am so grateful for her example. This week I have the opportunity to give a talk in church. As I was preparing my talk I thought about my testimony (my topic is testimony). I thought about how much has gone into developing my testimony. I have experienced a great deal in my life up to this point. Some of the things have been tough to deal with and others have been the joy of my life. No matter what the experience I am grateful for them all. The current challenge of Kellyn being so far away is a new one for me. I have never cared so much for a person and not be able to communicate with them. I talked to her every day before she left! Ah! I can't wait to receive her letters! I know that no matter how this whole thing ends up it will be the will of the Lord. I need to have faith in that. I got to see my family recently and that was such a wonderful experience. Leaving them could be one of the hardest things ever, but I know that I am where I need to be. Man, I am just so blessed in my life. I can't believe how wonderful my life has become. I am The Luckiest.

Ongoing Miracles

Wow.. Sometimes life just hits you with stuff.. ya know? I had one of the toughest weeks of my life. I have never had to deal with so much stuff all at once. I am grateful that I have so many wonderful people around me. I love having the opportunity to call upon a friend when I am in need. Also, I witnessed a few miracles this week. First, the miracle of Milo Miner. Milo is the new born son (May 3, 2010) of my best friend Adam Miner. Holding that little boy in my arms and looking at his perfect face made the world change for me. It was as if I just saw my second nephew. He was sent to the Miner family as a blessing and an answer to prayers. What a difference his presence in the Miner home has made on the whole family. I can see that life has changed for them forever. Second miracle was when I saw my friend Kim's baby girl. She was born on May 1, 2010. She is the spitting image of her older sister. What an amazing spirit that little girl has. The glow that was about Kim's face was bright enough to light the room. I am so pleased for the Brimhall family. The third miracle I witnessed in my life as of late was the miracle of a priesthood blessing that I received. In my blessing there were some specific things said that changed my life. More important than the things that were said was the feeling that I had and the testimony that was borne of the priesthood. The bonding moment that I shared with Adam after the blessing is something that will never go away. I love the way the spirit can bring two people together. I was amazed. If it weren't for these miracles in my life this week would have been too much for me to handle. I thank the Lord for ongoing miracles.

Understanding the Atonement

I once heard from a very wise stake president that we will never fully understand the Atonement. I was very confused by his statement because I thought that I had a pretty good testimony of the Atonement and I felt that in a few short years I would have it figured out. Well, here I am a few short years later and I have just learned something new about the Atonement. I have learned that the Atonement is for me. Now, that may seem to be a very plain truth. In reality, however, it is very complex for me. I have realized how personal the Atonement really is. It is not just Christ suffered for mankind and we need to use that Atonement to get back to Heaven. Christ suffered for ME. Individually. Just me alone. Not for everyone else. Just me. Then he went along and suffered for another person. Individually. Just them alone. Not for anyone else. Then the next person and so on. I was actually on the Savior's mind and he saw me in all actuality and suffered for just me. This concept has brought a whole new meaning to the Atonement. I am so insignificant, but there is nothing more important to the Lord than my soul. That may sound like a contradiction, but it makes perfect sense. I challenge you to ponder on this topic. Think about the Savior suffering for you alone and no one else. See how that changes your life. I hope it changes yours like it has mine. I look forward to learning more about the Atonement. How exciting it is to know that I will never understand it all. That means that I can learn about it for the rest of my life and never run out of things to learn! What an awesome experience. I am truly blessed. I love my Savior Jesus Christ.

It's hard

I have been having a hard time as of late. Things are just plain hard. I am trying to stay strong and fight temptation. I am trying to move on even though Kellyn has moved away so that she can serve her mission. I am trying to keep up with school even though it is stressful and expensive. I am trying to be a good friend to others who have difficulty in their lives. But you know, it's hard. I want to be married. I want to have Kellyn back. I don't want to have to do all of this stuff alone. I feel really alone. I realize that feeling alone means that I am not turning to the Lord enough. Because if I turn to Him then I never feel alone. So I am taking this opportunity, while things are hard, to catch myself and turn to the one who understands me best. After all, He is the one who has brought all this hard stuff into my life. I know that He knows how to help me through it all. He will provide a way for it all to be accomplished. I am not sure how that will be however. I am going to hold on. I am going to make it. With my eyes on the prize. I am worth it. I will not let the adversary tear me down. This is a fight I am not willing to lose. I choose to win. Glory be to the Most High.

Does He know you love Him?

I got the impression tonight that I needed to write down some of my feelings in this here blog. I ignored the thought the first time and then I had a thought that I just had to write about. A lot of times we think, "Does the Lord really love me?" As I was about to climb in my bed I had an interesting thought that I never really had before. I thought to myself, "I am so glad that my Father knows that I love Him." I have never really thought about the Lord being loved by us and how do we know that the Lord feels our love? So the next time you are wondering if the Lord loves you, think about if He knows you love Him. You will know the Lord loves you if He knows you love Him.

The Temple

Over the course of my life I have not had too much of an opportunity to attend the temple in my life. I held myself back from the temple for quite some time. I was worried that I would enter unworthily and feel like a sinner and feel like the Lord was going to strike me down. Although it is important to enter the temple when you are worthy and ready to partake in those sacred ordinances, you do not need to be perfect. In my mind I needed to arrive. I needed to have every little thing under control. I thought that if I had one bad thought then I was lusting after a woman in my heart and that I was an adulterer. I have come to realize that the temple is there for those who are striving for perfection, not for the perfect. There are certain requirements that need to be met, but perfection is not one of them. I am excited to use my limited use recommend to do baptisms. I love that I am able to take part in the ordinances of the temple. I also set a date today with my bishop for the receiving of my endowment. Come March 12, 2010 I will be an endowed member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Oh what a blessing it is. I am grateful to all of those that have helped in any way throughout the process. I am especially grateful to my family and my lovely girlfriend Kellyn. If you are struggling with not feeling worthy to enter the temple then ask. Ask the Lord how he feels about it. If there are no things amiss in your life and you just have a hard time making it to the temple... well shame on you! ha ha. Get to the temple! Make time for it in your schedule. Go as often as you can. The temple is there for us to use. It is the house of the Lord. He is there and wants to commune with you. Go to Him and let Him heal you. I love you all!

Kellyn

I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to a very sweet girl. Kellyn is the new lady in my life and she has just taught me so much over the past month. It is amazing how meeting one person can change your life so much. She is such a great example to me and she helps me to want to be a better person. I am so grateful for how special she makes me feel. I love that I can be myself and she loves every bit of it. There is nothing like it. So this is for you, Kellyn. I am grateful for you. You are most definitely worth it. :)