I'm back

Well, many things have happened as of late that have been life changing. I recently lost my job which I had for 3 1/2 years. I loved working for Telos and I am very grateful for the experience. I certainly took that job for granted and especially the money for granted. I made some good money there. I am now on the search for a new job and I am hoping to find one that will allow me to focus more on school. I recognize that I will most likely sacrifice money, but I need to be able to focus on my school work. Speaking of school, much has changed in that department as well. I am now back to my original plan. I am going to dental school and I am going to be an orthodontist. I am very excited and I feel this is the way that I need to be going. Also, I have made some new friends and I have rid myself of old ones that were not good influences in my life. I needed this fresh start. So, as I sit here I am reminded that I have so much. At times it is interesting to sit and look at where your life is and how you got there. I was so caught up in my life and all the worries. It is nice to have some time to think again and just remember what is most important. My family. My friends. My future. Being happy. Being clean. I am now refocused on the temple. I am excited to get back into a normal routine of attendance. I have missed the temple a great deal. It has left quite the void in my life and I want to fill it again. I suppose this is not going to be much of an inspiring entry, but it is for me. Looking back to where I was a few months ago, I have improved a great deal. I was not sure that I was going to live til tomorrow back when. Today I look forward to tomorrow and can look back on today with a smile. I am grateful for the gospel in my life. I am not yet where I want to be, but I am on my way. I am excited just to be on my way. I guess you can say I am enjoying the journey on the path back. I am not perfect, but I am able to forgive myself. I am getting better every day. I am back to being me again. I am looking to help others again. I am looking to be a support and a light in the lives of others. It's good to be me again. Slowly I am transforming and changing into the man I am supposed to become. It is basic, but it is crucial. Thanks to all of you who have helped me. Adam, Sonny, Victoria, Blake, Chris, Aimmie, Dad, Mom, Kaylese, Derek, Bishop, Chelsea, and everyone else, thank you. I love you all very, very much.

"Raising the Bar: Missionaries to Match the Message"

This entry is to those of you who are missionaries. If you think that you are excluded from this group because you did not serve a mission, think again. A wise man that I respect dearly once gave a talk that I am eternally grateful for. The talk was entitled "Raising the Bar: Missionaries to Match the Message". The man who gave the talk was Ed J. Pinegar. In this talk President Pinegar relates a story in which he was asked, "Where did you serve your mission?" He responded, "Earth. Earth is my mission". I laughed when I heard this because I thought it was cheesy, but he has a great outlook on his life. He is here to serve the Lord. He did not lose the title of "missionary" when he took of his plaque. The name of Jesus Christ was not just pinned to his coat, it was written on his heart. Those of us who have not served full time missions and those who have served full time missions, we are all here to serve a REAL full time mission. We need to have the Savior's name written on our hearts. We need to serve Him in every capacity. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve Him. I love Jesus Christ. He is my master and my best friend. Unfortunately for me I have left His side a few times and for that I have suffered. I am working my way back now and I look forward to serving Him in the temple again. To those of you who are struggling, I want to pass on a lesson that I learned from a wonderful friend of mine. You need to act like a Sister Missionary.. get a blessing.. in fact, get a lot of blessings. The Lord wants to help you, use the resources he has provided. I am grateful for worthy priesthood holders who are willing and worthy to perform these blessings. The Lord is King. I am but a humble servant. You are loved.

Whatever it takes

As many may know, I have been in a very rough spot the last few months. The adjustment to the love of my life being gone and all the other stresses that come with life have proven to be too much for me. I am in one of the deepest depressions of my life. As I sit here I wonder how this has happened? Where did I go wrong? How did I let it get this bad. A few things have come to mind when I think back on these last few months. First, I realize that I was not prepared in the slightest for Kellyn to leave. She was LITERALLY my LIFE. Without her I have NO LIFE. There in lies the biggest problem. I should not have put all of my eggs in one basket. Realizing this I have noticed that my relationship with my Heavenly Father has diminished greatly. That is where the real trouble begins. The lack of communication with and lack of respect for the Lord is my biggest downfall. Coupled with pride and grievous sin I feel sorrow. Immense amounts of sorrow. I feel that I have fallen to a place where there is little hope. So now what? Where do I go from here? Can I get back what I lost? Is there hope for a wretched soul such as mine? The answer is a resounding YES! I know that there is ALWAYS hope. I need to be willing to put in the leg work. I need to be willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES. If I am not willing to do so then I will not make it. So, the message that I share this morning is one of hope and one of sobering reality. There are times in our lives where we have to do as the Lord has said, "Gird up {our} loins and fresh courage take". Brothers and Sisters, today is the day. Do not wait another minute. I am hopeful and for that, all glory be to the Father of my spirit. WHATEVER IT TAKES.

Thoughts I'm thinkin

It has been some time. I think I am going to start to write here more often again. I really like the way my life goes when I am writing about it. Well, as of late things have been different. Kellyn is finally on her mission, and needless to say, I really miss her. She is the most wonderful woman I have ever known. I really lover her and I am so grateful for her example. This week I have the opportunity to give a talk in church. As I was preparing my talk I thought about my testimony (my topic is testimony). I thought about how much has gone into developing my testimony. I have experienced a great deal in my life up to this point. Some of the things have been tough to deal with and others have been the joy of my life. No matter what the experience I am grateful for them all. The current challenge of Kellyn being so far away is a new one for me. I have never cared so much for a person and not be able to communicate with them. I talked to her every day before she left! Ah! I can't wait to receive her letters! I know that no matter how this whole thing ends up it will be the will of the Lord. I need to have faith in that. I got to see my family recently and that was such a wonderful experience. Leaving them could be one of the hardest things ever, but I know that I am where I need to be. Man, I am just so blessed in my life. I can't believe how wonderful my life has become. I am The Luckiest.

Ongoing Miracles

Wow.. Sometimes life just hits you with stuff.. ya know? I had one of the toughest weeks of my life. I have never had to deal with so much stuff all at once. I am grateful that I have so many wonderful people around me. I love having the opportunity to call upon a friend when I am in need. Also, I witnessed a few miracles this week. First, the miracle of Milo Miner. Milo is the new born son (May 3, 2010) of my best friend Adam Miner. Holding that little boy in my arms and looking at his perfect face made the world change for me. It was as if I just saw my second nephew. He was sent to the Miner family as a blessing and an answer to prayers. What a difference his presence in the Miner home has made on the whole family. I can see that life has changed for them forever. Second miracle was when I saw my friend Kim's baby girl. She was born on May 1, 2010. She is the spitting image of her older sister. What an amazing spirit that little girl has. The glow that was about Kim's face was bright enough to light the room. I am so pleased for the Brimhall family. The third miracle I witnessed in my life as of late was the miracle of a priesthood blessing that I received. In my blessing there were some specific things said that changed my life. More important than the things that were said was the feeling that I had and the testimony that was borne of the priesthood. The bonding moment that I shared with Adam after the blessing is something that will never go away. I love the way the spirit can bring two people together. I was amazed. If it weren't for these miracles in my life this week would have been too much for me to handle. I thank the Lord for ongoing miracles.

Understanding the Atonement

I once heard from a very wise stake president that we will never fully understand the Atonement. I was very confused by his statement because I thought that I had a pretty good testimony of the Atonement and I felt that in a few short years I would have it figured out. Well, here I am a few short years later and I have just learned something new about the Atonement. I have learned that the Atonement is for me. Now, that may seem to be a very plain truth. In reality, however, it is very complex for me. I have realized how personal the Atonement really is. It is not just Christ suffered for mankind and we need to use that Atonement to get back to Heaven. Christ suffered for ME. Individually. Just me alone. Not for everyone else. Just me. Then he went along and suffered for another person. Individually. Just them alone. Not for anyone else. Then the next person and so on. I was actually on the Savior's mind and he saw me in all actuality and suffered for just me. This concept has brought a whole new meaning to the Atonement. I am so insignificant, but there is nothing more important to the Lord than my soul. That may sound like a contradiction, but it makes perfect sense. I challenge you to ponder on this topic. Think about the Savior suffering for you alone and no one else. See how that changes your life. I hope it changes yours like it has mine. I look forward to learning more about the Atonement. How exciting it is to know that I will never understand it all. That means that I can learn about it for the rest of my life and never run out of things to learn! What an awesome experience. I am truly blessed. I love my Savior Jesus Christ.

It's hard

I have been having a hard time as of late. Things are just plain hard. I am trying to stay strong and fight temptation. I am trying to move on even though Kellyn has moved away so that she can serve her mission. I am trying to keep up with school even though it is stressful and expensive. I am trying to be a good friend to others who have difficulty in their lives. But you know, it's hard. I want to be married. I want to have Kellyn back. I don't want to have to do all of this stuff alone. I feel really alone. I realize that feeling alone means that I am not turning to the Lord enough. Because if I turn to Him then I never feel alone. So I am taking this opportunity, while things are hard, to catch myself and turn to the one who understands me best. After all, He is the one who has brought all this hard stuff into my life. I know that He knows how to help me through it all. He will provide a way for it all to be accomplished. I am not sure how that will be however. I am going to hold on. I am going to make it. With my eyes on the prize. I am worth it. I will not let the adversary tear me down. This is a fight I am not willing to lose. I choose to win. Glory be to the Most High.

Does He know you love Him?

I got the impression tonight that I needed to write down some of my feelings in this here blog. I ignored the thought the first time and then I had a thought that I just had to write about. A lot of times we think, "Does the Lord really love me?" As I was about to climb in my bed I had an interesting thought that I never really had before. I thought to myself, "I am so glad that my Father knows that I love Him." I have never really thought about the Lord being loved by us and how do we know that the Lord feels our love? So the next time you are wondering if the Lord loves you, think about if He knows you love Him. You will know the Lord loves you if He knows you love Him.

The Temple

Over the course of my life I have not had too much of an opportunity to attend the temple in my life. I held myself back from the temple for quite some time. I was worried that I would enter unworthily and feel like a sinner and feel like the Lord was going to strike me down. Although it is important to enter the temple when you are worthy and ready to partake in those sacred ordinances, you do not need to be perfect. In my mind I needed to arrive. I needed to have every little thing under control. I thought that if I had one bad thought then I was lusting after a woman in my heart and that I was an adulterer. I have come to realize that the temple is there for those who are striving for perfection, not for the perfect. There are certain requirements that need to be met, but perfection is not one of them. I am excited to use my limited use recommend to do baptisms. I love that I am able to take part in the ordinances of the temple. I also set a date today with my bishop for the receiving of my endowment. Come March 12, 2010 I will be an endowed member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Oh what a blessing it is. I am grateful to all of those that have helped in any way throughout the process. I am especially grateful to my family and my lovely girlfriend Kellyn. If you are struggling with not feeling worthy to enter the temple then ask. Ask the Lord how he feels about it. If there are no things amiss in your life and you just have a hard time making it to the temple... well shame on you! ha ha. Get to the temple! Make time for it in your schedule. Go as often as you can. The temple is there for us to use. It is the house of the Lord. He is there and wants to commune with you. Go to Him and let Him heal you. I love you all!